Imagine this scenario…
Sophia, a young woman, comes to you with an internal struggle. She has an upcoming presentation, but she thinks she’s a terrible presenter and doesn’t believe she can do it.
What do you say?
Well…scenarios like this have played out for centuries, and a common prescription would sound something like this:
I want you to stand in front of a mirror and repeat this statement ten times to yourself:
“I am an engaging, powerful, and articulate presenter.”
Hmmmm, that sounds positive, right? It looks encouraging and actionable, double plus. However, there’s a catch.
You see, Affirmations have been sold as a ‘can’t miss’ self-talk strategy for decades. Especially to people struggling with low self-esteem.
[A quick definition: self-esteem is simply your belief or opinion about yourself.]
After 30,000+ mental game coaching hours, I can tell you that nobody’s immune to bouts of low self-esteem. Some might last minutes, but for others, they might last years.
You want to be cautious about this mixture of ‘low self-esteem’ and ‘affirmations,’ and here’s why…
What the Science Reveals
If Sophia struggles with low self-esteem (her belief in her presenting skills), simply telling herself, “I am an engaging, powerful, and articulate presenter.” will likely cause her to feel worse.
Wait, Todd, seriously? Not only will it NOT help, but it could make her insecurities worse.
Yes, and here’s a little study to back it up…
A study at The University of Waterloo, published in the Journal of Psychological Science [1], revealed the important nuance of the ‘Affirmation Cure-All’ idea.
The researchers asked people to repeat the affirmation: “I am a lovable person.”
In the study, two groups were established:
- A ‘low self-esteem’ group, and
- A ‘high self-esteem’ group.
After the affirmation, everyone’s moods regarding their feelings about themselves were measured.
Here’s what the researchers found:
- The low self-esteem group felt worse across the board.
- The high self-esteem group felt only marginally better.
So what does this tell us?
First, it reveals how nothing is ever ‘just good.’ Affirmations only being good, breaks the laws of nature.
Second, it shows how prescribing a ‘self-helpism’ can cause more harm than good.
Third, if you already have a high level of self-esteem regarding something about yourself, an affirmation can strengthen it.
These are important distinctions because a wave of self-help content producers are hunting for clicks, likes, and comments, but nobody calls them on it.
Here’s What You Should Do Instead
Instead of leaning on affirmations, become really good at speaking the truth.
Here are some tips to get you started on a better path to transformation:
- Ask Questions: Instead of an affirmation like “I am a great writer.” Ask, “Why am I becoming a better writer?” The brain loves questions. They’re the pick-ax to the mind and help you mine for answers, solutions, and creative responses.
- Allow Negative Thoughts: The idea that all your thinking should be positive is a trap. You only judge yourself more. Even the University of Waterloo study showed that people with low self-esteem were in a better mood after allowing negative thoughts.
- Stack Your Wins: Grab a sheet of paper and break down your life into 3-year increments. Then, create a list of all the things you learned, skills you developed, wins, and things you overcame. Return to it every three months and keep adding to it.
If you’ve ever been lured into picking up the affirmation club and tried to beat yourself with it, set it down or use it to strengthen existing confidence.
Science, research, and practicality show there are better ways to master the chatter in your head and change your life.
Be Bold. Take Action. Leave a Mark.
Todd Herman
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