I was walking past my daughter Sophie’s room the other day when I caught something beautiful happening.
There she was – my middle daughter with the big personality and creative spirit – patiently teaching her little brother Charlie how to do a backflip.
Now, Sophie and Charlie have very similar personalities, which means they can easily bump heads and lock horns. But, in that moment, she was completely focused on him.
“Okay Charlie, watch my feet… now try to tuck your knees… that’s it, you’re getting it!”
Her patience was remarkable. Her genuine investment in his success was obvious.
And Charlie? He was soaking up every word, trying again and again because he felt her belief in him.
That night at bedtime, I made sure to tell her:
“Sophie, when you were teaching Charlie how to do a backflip today, you were so patient with him. That’s such a good example of what we try to do as Hermans – helping other people, not just people outside of our home, but actually helping each other in the home. I’m really proud of you.”
In that moment, I witnessed something that’s becoming increasingly rare in our world: genuine interest and attention.
Think about it. How many people walk through life without getting anyone’s genuine interest in what’s going on in their world?
Most of us are racing through relationships, racing through conversations, waiting for our turn to talk instead of truly listening.
But when someone – especially a child – feels your full attention and genuine interest in their life, something magical happens.
After 30+ years of coaching elite performers and raising three kids, here’s what I’ve discovered:
One of the greatest gifts you can give anyone is your genuine interest and attention into how their world works.
This isn’t just parenting advice – it’s human connection mastery. Whether it’s:
- Your kids sharing their day
- Your team member explaining a challenge
- Your spouse processing their thoughts
- A client describing their needs
The principle remains the same: genuine interest creates unbreakable bonds.
When people feel genuinely heard, several things happen:
- They open up more honestly
- They trust you with bigger conversations
- They feel supported and valued
- They start modeling the same behavior with others
In my family, I want my kids to know that dad has their back and they can come to me with anything. But that foundation is built through hundreds of small moments of genuine attention.
I’ve seen this same pattern with the elite performers I coach:
- Leaders who master genuine interest create loyal, high-performing teams
- Salespeople who truly listen to clients build lasting relationships
- Entrepreneurs who pay attention to their customers’ real needs build thriving businesses
It’s not about having all the answers – it’s about asking the right questions and truly caring about the responses.
Genuine interest isn’t just the one gift every family needs – it’s the one gift every human needs.
This week, I challenge you to pick one person in your life and practice giving them your complete attention. Whether it’s a family member, team member, or friend:
- Give them 10 minutes of undivided attention daily
- Put away all devices and distractions
- Ask follow-up questions that show genuine curiosity
- Notice how the dynamic shifts
The questions that matter aren’t “How was your day?” but “What was the best part of your day?” or “What made you feel proud today?”
Most people are starving for someone to be genuinely interested in their world.
When you become that person – whether as a parent, leader, or friend – you don’t just change their day. You change their life.
And here’s what I’ve learned: this gift costs you nothing but attention, yet it’s worth everything to the person receiving it.
Be Bold. Take Action. Leave a Mark.
Todd Herman
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